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Specializing in the Quirky?
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Specializing in the Quirky?


What does that mean anyway? What a weird thing to specialize in!
 
I struggled a long time trying to find a way to describe myself as a therapist and my practice. Many counselors find one or two methods they love to use, and specialize in that. Or they discover that they are really excellent with particular diagnoses, and develop them into a specialty. Me? I choose to specialize in a type of person rather than either of those. There's no one else like you in the world, and so how could anyone assume to know exactly what will work for you and exactly what your experiences have been? My approach to counseling is that You are the expert on You. It's my job to be open and present to you and learn about your world so that I can enter it and meet you there. I want to know who you are and what it's like to be you. The rest of our connection will unfold from there.
 
 My favorite people in the whole world, to work with and to associate with, are the weird ones, the ones who don't fit in boxes that anyone tries to put them in. I love the rugged individualists and the marchers to different drummers. People who wear a façade of normalcy because they have to, but looking into their eyes and opening up your heart you find that there are hidden depths and delightful sides to them that they save for special occasions or safe spaces. It's to those sides that I speak now.

 "You are beautiful, and you matter, oh so much! I know you may not believe that, especially if you've spent a long time being told that you're not ok as you are. You’ve been shamed, judged, oppressed, bullied, laughed at. Maybe you've learned that the safest route through life is to hide and to pretend. You watch people closely, all the time, trying to make sure that you fit in. Chances are likely you've actually internalized the voices of those who judge and become your own worst judge. Have you also had experiences of being truly Seen and Known and Loved? I very much hope so! Because you deserve that every day of your life!"

I love the quirky, because I am too. And with that I'm reminded of Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice, "I myself AM strange and unusual." I may look pretty normal, but I am far from that once you get past the suburban white female façade. I have things about myself that I don't share openly until I get a sense of whether it'll be accepted. But that is changing. I am who I am and I don't need to feel shame or fear about that. I am married to a man, and we're raising a fantastically strong and independent kid together. But I'm not straight. I'm queer. And I'm not monogamous. I'm polyamorous. I'm also plant medicine friendly and knowledgable, all in favor of harm reduction over abstinence, a pagan Unitarian Universalist witch, an activist, a science geek, sex positive, kinky, diversity embracing; a sparkly rebellious soulful human to the core. It's not been an entirely easy road learning to shine authentically. But it's entirely worth the effort!

Lots of struggles come with living life as a quirky person when you're not accepted for who you are. Anxiety, attachment problems, depression, self-harm, suicidal leanings, perfectionism, shame, PTSD, gender and sexual identity questions, lack of spiritual nurturance, self image/self esteem/self acceptance difficulty, substance abuse, eating disorders, body hatred, personality disorders, trauma to heal from, insomnia, hopelessness, existential angst about your place in the world. If you'd like a therapist who's traveled similar trails as you, who you can call alongside you as a guide, who realizes that your path is your own and wouldn't dream of taking charge in efforts to change you, who would love to help you find your freedom and authenticity, I am here and would love to talk with you!


12 Comments to Specializing in the Quirky?:

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language line on Monday, December 04, 2017 4:15 AM
This is absolutely what I needed to hear right now. Yes, it is pretty difficult to be different somehow. But you are right, people just need to embrace their difference to avoid any mental problems. Thank you for posting.
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